Monthly Archives: April 2010

from evenings out with new friends… Smalltown, whadya gonna do

the first time:

the mind elsewhere
04/09/10

hangin out
all sizes tryin
all shapes are buyin
mixed and matchin
long islands in fashion
pour it neat
or make me a treat
vodka with lime
cocktails and wine
the gangs all here
time for a beer
shots line the bar
tips fill the jar
bouncer at the door
drunk’s on the floor
some cackling bitches
makin my ears bleed
hey friend havanutha
good to see ya brotha
okay another shot
whatever you got
erase my brain
that tasty grain
we’ll sleep it off tomorrow

the second time

we miss the sweater-vest
04/23/10

Leutinant at the bar
hat bein rocked, Capt’n kicked back
Columbian behind the bar servin it up
rocks or neat, he doesn’t give a fuck
Sars sips with pen in hand
the next great line could walk right up
Shygirl chats up the hottie
just chillin in the nook
Ah, the nights of smalltown…
entertainment in a glass
everyone checkin something
her tits, his ass
deals made on the sly
drunken texts sent on the fly
who said they were gonna drive
cuz it certainly was not I

Tourist season has thrust itself on my little town… Dumbass people from all manner of near and far reminding me why some people should not breed and some should never be given a license to drive a motorized vehicle. I think some of them are even sober but good gus people! That lighted red dot on a pole in front of you means stop. I’m pretty sure it does where you come from too.  And the lighted yellow dot does not, in fact, mean mow down the local pedestrian at high speeds. I know, I may not like the idiot that walks in front of me at the last possible second but these are my idiots… Go home and find your own. You’ll probably be helping us all out because they won’t be here next tourist season.  And stop bitching at the servers because 200 of you showed up all at the same time demanding changes to the special and extra this and that… it isn’t their fault the chef may not have gotten your order correct. Or if they put it in incorrectly it could be the fact you changed your mind 17 times. If you want deep fried crap go home, otherwise quit your bitchin and enjoy the fact that you can actually see the water from whence your food came.

So I’m ranting. Maybe its because I got cut off by a carloada. Or maybe because I had a hard time getting through downtown because the walkways were heavy with drunkass idiots. Maybe I just don’t appreciate junior or princess here with daddy’s cast off beemer from 2 years ago that they don’t know the first thing about driving let alone caring for. Whatever they have daddy’s big ol credit card to pay for the repairs so far be it from me to complain about that part.  I’ll just be at my second job paying for my 10 year old Honda…  Making sure they have extra caffeine in their small triple non-fat no whip mocha. (oops, I forgot the non fat part…). Welcome tourists, what can I make for your hangover, I mean get for you today??