I’ve been pining over this car, a loaded up A4 Quattro, since it rolled up into the shop last year. Cleaned up and maintained and unsold, I’ve watched… and waited…. and wanted, actually coveted this car. So when I decided to put my car up for sale I thought just maybe… it could happen. Because you know, my car is a good car. My last tank got me 38 mpg, not bad for 7 years and 146,000 miles. But she’s showing signs of age. Crows feet around the eyes and the laugh lines, you know, little things that tell you it’s time to upgrade to a trophy wife. But, she’ll make some college kid or high-schooler a great little mobile. So I post her on craigslist and low and behold… I get an email two days later. The dude (we’ll call him that for the moment) would like to see/drive the car and show it to his wife, who incidentally shares my name, while he shares the tall one’s name – creepy. I agree to meet them halfway as they live 45 minutes south of me. He asks the standard questions… does it need major service, what’s been done recently, why are you selling it, blah, blah, blah. It seems people have a hard time accepting that a single woman has some knowledge of cars, doesn’t care to pay for maintenance that will be necessary soon and really just wants to move on when the car gets to a certain mileage – without there being some severe mechanical failure of some kind. The car is used and I’m selling it for less than $100 over low bluebook. I even sent the bluebook printout via email. Incidentally, low blue book is defined as “severe mechanical and/or body damage”. Yeah, no. I have neither of these things. The car is used. (wait, did I say that already???) It has dings and scratches; it needs new shocks and in about 30,000 miles will need a timing belt. Otherwise it’s all standard stuff. Stuff you expect and factor in when you buy a car that is used and being sold for low blue book. Anyhow, back to dude and his wife (still dude at this point though, barely) drive it around for a half an hour after he uses his little pen light to look all over the place and check it out. Wife on the other hand sees leather interior (not offered, but put in aftermarket) and looks happy. When they return he tells me they are very interested and will talk to me tomorrow. The next day he emails me to ask if “his mechanic” can take a look at it. I knew what he’d be told as the encyclopedia and the ex bf (who just gave it a major tune up 6 months ago) pretty much told me all that’s wrong (see above list). Fine, fine… if you want to spend your cash, go ahead. When I find out his “mechanic” is at a Meinike I should have just said no. But I didn’t. I actually drive it down there on what was a bad day anyhow. The “mechanic must have been looking for loose nuts and bolts and writing down every minute thing that may need to be done in the next 6 to 8 months. It took him an hour and fifteen minutes and then the douchebag kept us standing there while he’s in the office waiting for an “estimate”. (yes he is now douchebag) Get your little estimate – but we have shit to do and it does not include waiting in the parking lot for your anal-retentive ass. I finally walk into the office (where all talking stops) get the keys and leave with the feeling that he does not want my car – or any used car really. When he emails me, he tells me that his “mechanic” has given him an estimate for $1,500 worth of repairs that need to be done. Wha??? Huh??? It’s a frickin Honda? For all that’s wrong I could have the encyclopedia –at his shop rate- do the work (replace the shocks and bushings, do the brakes, change the oil for good measure) then kick down a keg of beer as a bonus and still have money left over to replace the tinting that’s showing signs of age, and still come at least $500 shy of $1500. At Least!! Hell, I could probably get it detailed too.
That being said, he never tells me what the estimate includes. I can only guess that the guy told him front suspension, brakes, timing belt and maybe tune-up. Either way he makes me the most amazing offer ever. I am still in awe. He’ll give me $2,000 less than I’m asking or I can have his “mechanic” do all the work necessary after which time he’ll buy it for what I’m asking. BAHAHAHAHAHA… wait, just a sec… my stomach hurts and my eyes are watering because the laughing is causing me to cramp up. Two words: Bite Me. If you want a perfect car, buy a brand new one. Otherwise, realize it’s used and being sold for a reason and not only that it’s a used car for six grand. Not 22, not even 15 but $6,000. I spent 15 minutes writing and re-writing a response to his offer and in the end decided to simply tell him good luck in finding something he was satisfied with. I should have gone with bite me.
I re-posted my car and had a couple other inquiries, but nothing of consequence. I drove the lovely, fast, amazing A4 for the weekend. It made me love it more than ever. But alas, it seems I am to covet and not obtain. Isn’t that a sin??? Maybe that is my problem… I am fucking up my karma by coveting the car!! No matter, if it is meant to be then the owner of the shop (who apparently loves me- why I don’t know) will enjoy driving it around for a while until I can try again with more successful results. Or I can find something else that’s fun and cool and know that is what it should be.
Just this moment I’m writing with my mouth full. I’m not the biggest fan of leftovers, a fact that perplexes my mother to no end, but here I sit enjoying the remains of a dinner prepared just for me. Pesto-cheese tortellini in a fresh tomato, basil and olive ragout with Sicilian style chicken sausage. And we can’t forget the crack bread on the side. I love food. I love it more when it is made for me and not “okay, let’s go get pizza” for me or “hey I cooked for my roommates and we have some leftovers if you want them” for me, but “sit down and relax, I’m cooking you dinner” for me. Even better still is this isn’t a random occurrence. It happens, in the very least, on a weekly basis… usually more. This dinner came on the heels of other gifts of time. What the hell does this have to do with the price of cars on ebay? As it would happen I did need brakes, not the biggest deal, it’s a frickin Honda. So I was preparing to take it to the shop and have this and other things done (you know shocks and stuff – a technical term). But I ended up not needing to afterall… I turned around and the amazing man had replaced my brakes (I must have been napping). Then while out testing their awesome stopping power, he picked up movies then came back and made me dinner. All of it just because… hhhmmmm maybe my karma isn’t so bad after all, Maybe putting up with the douche-bag erased some of my debt to her. Now I just need to figure out how to reverse the coveting so I can get to the obtaining……
