Its no secret I’m a fan of the kare-jokey. Its also no secret that I’m that bitch that comes out of no where (after several people who suck ass and make your ears bleed) and sings a simple song that has everyone but those in the know looking about the room to find out where the song is coming from. I’m also that bitch no one wants to be after in the rotation. Following the dj dude is one thing – he’s supposed to be good right??? But no one wants to follow the girl who was sitting in the corner and out of no where did Dusty Springfield right, all the while effing their shit up… changed their game plan so to speak. You may not think it’s a game out there or a competition, but it is. Everyone of them thinks they are/would/should/could have been the next American idol or the next biggest thing on Star Search oh yeah, I went there to the way back, but Ed McMahon blows all of them out of the water by far – may he rest in peace (I know I totally aged myself but really… Ryan Seacrest???? Jesus H people- come on, I know you can do better!). Anyhow, I digress… It’s kind of a competitive world amongst the karoke regulars, and I don’t play that game. I come to sing for me, or because one of my friends asked me to, or my bro said “you should do Winger!!!! (hums in the background….she’s only seventeen) yeah, I wonder if they have that???” For that reason I don’t go often and I don’t get sucked into their world… I don’t bring my own cd tracts….
So Last week, yeah… Cougarific, cougarama, cougarlicious….. that was the name of the game. I was sitting there with my lovely friends, sipping on my club soda watchin the Fat Bottomed Girl rock it Like a Virgin. Granted she is not fat bottomed but she certainly wasn’t a virgin (further proved later by the rats nest hair I just got some outside and need a drink look). When I told her it Hurt So Good she gave a look to the dude she was with that said “oh yeah bay-bee, I got your hurt right here… She had it covered so I stopped paying attention to her. I didn’t feel like vomiting in my mouth any more at the nasty PDA, made worse by the fact that she either a. hired him so tonight he was havin the poon or b. didn’t realize it and is way dumber than should be allowed or c. chose to ignore the fact that her date would have been more comfortable chillin with Freddie Mercury. I think the first hour or so of that pair was worth all the ear bleeding I had to sit through. But it got old. And nothing was worth that on guy that thought the way to Dream On was scream at the top of his lungs so people in grover could hear him…. I could have done without that.
