bates motel

running through my head is that cadence…. here we go again, same ol’ shit again… Not this last roommate, but the last time I had roommates, it was re-fuckin-cockulous. The level of disrespect is hard to even describe. Imagine all your shit being used and abused then left while you’re on vaca. Yup, not to mention the money racked up on your credit cards, the rent you’re saddled with and the mother of all sins….. the loss of your tap. So the roomie and her bf decide it’s ’bout that time, they need to consolidate their stuff or something, thus leaving me with the options of: find a place for my stuff that’s all my own, find a place for my stuff that’s half my own or shove my shit in the folks garage and put up with my dad’s crazy bullshit. hhhhmmmmmm, while half my own isn’t terrible, it leaves me with the possibility of the same occurance(s) – rommie leaving to be with significant other or roomie(s) taking complete advantage of my cool shit and my lack of presence. Did I mention I am the easiest roommate ever??? Yeah. I am realistically only home 72 hours a week. Yup, I pay rent for a large (organized and accessible) storage area and shower. I am at the bf’s 4 or 5 nights a week on average and then there is dog sitting. At least 6 to 8 weeks of the year I house sit. Couple this with my love of cooking for others, desire to have a clean environment and lack of concern over the little shit, I think that makes me ideal. (If I do say so myself)


anyway, I digress… I found myself with a need to find a place to live. I decided that for the first time in 33 years I needed to find one that had no one else in it. So I started looking. la la la I wanted to be in town where I work or in the little nook that the bulk of the family and the bf (resulting in a huge chunk of time) live in. The nook is hard as there isn’t much that comes open by way of studio or 1 bedroom. In town is hard as the student population has Dad’s money (for the most part – I know some of them do it on their own) or work for high end foo foo companies that pay lots so they can afford to be raped each month. I fall into neither of these. Government pays well, except it shows up in the form of bennies. I need these, so I’m here until I find better money with decent bennies. Anyway, I’m getting long winded and I’m not even close to the point! So I come across two places in the nook. 1 of them happens to be owned by the roomie friend of 20+ years and the other is newly remodeled and spacious. I opt for newly remodeled and spacious for two reasons… First I am nothing if not practical. I realize that the boy may not think I’m that cool. Second, Roomie’s friend’s place may have been a shoe in except it was thee doors down (I hear the iPod clicking) from the bf. If something happens with him and it isn’t good I don’t need to be quite that close.


Here is where I get to the point (yay!!). Door #2 is a really cool space. The lady seems a tad eccentric (I sooooo should have known – always trust the gut and listen when anyone says anything negative) but I chalk it up to her zen-buddhist type religious and uber-liberal attitude. We meet and talk and email and reach an agreement. Cool, right? a-NO. I’m not even in the place completely – moving in on day 2 and I get the first call that I’m too loud with the coming and going. I am emailed about my invasion of her fung shuei space and disruption of her animals. (I haven’t even brought in all the boxes or completely unpacked… um, stopping, stopping now) And you’re having too many people over… hhhhmmmm This does not bode well. The next day is a note on the door. The dog barks anytime I walk in – so my normal hours are baaaad. (we all know I am not early to bed) and if my man (here we won’t use boy or bf… sounds dumb when you are talking about getting laid) cannot come over whenever I want to spend alone time with him… this is sooo not gonna be kosher, I mean fung shuei. So how do you insure you’re gonna get your deposit and better part of the rent back when you truly did nothing wrong? And what of the stress you now feel walking on fucking egg shells every time I’m at my own place? How do you tactfully and amicably say “what the fuck yo???”.


I have no clue tonight but I better figure it out quick like… The stress is eating me and I’m not havin it. I need some sleep and some sex and some sleep…………. and sex.