June 18 – Gemini
You may be stretched as far as you can go emotionally. From your perspective it’s better to avoid further drama in a relationship than to raise the level of conflict another notch. But it’s hard to walk away from an unresolved situation, especially if your feelings have already been hurt. In a few days you’ll realize that your position was not as precarious as you thought.
Hhhmmm, what does this mean??? Maybe in the handbook for how to get through life on a day-to-day basis they explain all this stuff. Maybe they have a chapter on your daily horror-scope: read it with a grain of salt. There’s probably a chapter on starsigns and Chinese calendars and all that too. In the mean time Everyone has some way to help me relax. The most frequent being to breathe.
Breathe In – phhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (that’s the breathing in through the nose noise) Breathe out – whooooooooooooo (that’s the breathing out through the mouth noise) I am practicing hearing the sound I make when I breathe. phhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-whoooooooooooooooooooo Maybe in the handbook for how to get through life on a day-to-day basis there’s a chapter on the breathing. Maybe it gives the little noises written out because I’m flyin blind here.
Maybe I can learn to slow down my brain if I’m focusing on the breathing in and out. Meditation teachers seem to think so… focus on your breath (in-out-in-out). I have no focus. I just sort of meander aimlessly until I pick up some little nothing that’s been said that stings or hurts and analyze the hell out of it until I’m a flaming ball of tension. Thus causing myself to be unable to breathe or just able to sit there taking sad little shallow breaths. I don’t know what chapter addresses this. I will likely have those post-it flags all over it.
phhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-whoooooooooooooooooooo phhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-whoooooooooooooooooooo (so far I’m just feeling a little dry in the sinuses and no relief from the brain… whatever, I’ll carry on)
Maybe I need to listen to them and calm my little self down and freakin breathe already. Have patience that not everything happens when I want it to. My feelings won’t always be reciprocated the way I want them to, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t being felt. The way I treat others is definitely not how I’m treated but it doesn’t mean I’m not respected. “…live each present moment wisely and earnestly.” Where is this in the handbook?? Point me to the page. I say it all the time but I want step-by-step instructions with diagrams. Because this is what I want. To live in the moment, share the excitement of newness. I want to always think about things not in terms of how I’ll feel, but how I’ll grow. Breathe through those moments when I think I might crash. Man, I wish I had that handbook… because when I find that thing, I have some reading to do. phhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-whoooooooooooooooooooo
