I have been waiting for this day to come… waiting with baited breath for the sheriff to come a knockin at my door and serve me with papers from the psycho landlady. Yeah, he went to my mom’s (where I keep a permanent address) and of course she knew him. So he told her if he couldn’t deliver it today we would get continued. I told her to SIGN IT! I’ll be damned if she gets any more time.
She is suing for 5 months rent and contractor fees paid for a kitchen addition asked for by the plaintiff (me) less the thousand dollar security deposit she has kept. Here’s the good part: she states that she is suing out of “self-defense” because I am suing her for double my deposit. I broke the six month lease and she was without a renter for almost two months. Ding-ding a prize to who can see where she fucks herself! Even if I conceded a six month lease (which I would not) she states in legal documents that she currently has a renter. She can’t ask for anything beyond the date that tenant moved in.. which was June. “Almost two months” does not equal two months and legally, she would have to account for exact amounts of time. It would be the date the tenant signed the lease. So if it was May (when I saw the u-haul) that’s really a month. Fa-juck-ed!!! Who got the prize?
Enough law lesson… whatever. I’m kind of excited. At the same time, I feel sorry for her. She is either getting really bad counsel or none at all. If none at all, I take it back and she really is just an idiot. But if someone is telling her to do this because she has a chance… That is a really bad friend. I am fortunate to have good counsel, a wide network of friends and (oh yeah) a brain to do some frickin research. It’s not cool to be a big bitch. And I’m not trying to take her for all she’s worth or even get all I could ask for. So for now I need chill out. Smugness and arrogance is unbecoming. Large smiles on my bright shining face however, very becoming. I wonder what song will get stuck in my head that day? I wonder if when she pays me I can give her that ticket with her receipt? Now what did I do with that gift box???
~Garrison Keillor
