Reverend “comb over with a pot-belly” in a purple velour jumpsuit with Jesus written in rhinestones across his bulbous ass, toolin around the stage on a Segue… A televangelist “Father Tremendous”, handing out $20 bills (10 or more) from his “pulpit” with a gyrating nun chanting lu-ya ha-holy in an ethereal haunting voice… News of throngs of people worshiping at the feet of a marble statue with a talking ass crack, quoting the twelfth chapter, seventh verse of the “Book of Douche Bag”… The crowd like a wave chanting along with the common theme and ever present mantra “V is for Vagina”… Sniffing out “the Sin” in dens of iniquity because BOB is everywhere (the talking ass crack said so)… and cracked out looking doll baby girls with guttural voices because “it’s all fire and brimstone baby”, L.S.D. and the chupacabra….
Um, Yeah…
Accompanying a friend on a journey of closure and renewal that could potentially turn bad by including lots of man bashing, crying and evil shit: potentially too expensive to say
Dinner at LA’s famous Yard House, including drinks: $140
Hotel room to stumble back to after said journey: $100
VIP Tickets to the Club Nokia (which seats about 500 people in high back leather chairs and has three bars for your drinking pleasure) to see Maynard’s side project (Maynard from Tool if you don’t know me and haven’t been paying attention) and potentially the most crazy show of the year: $300+
Getting dinner and the tickets because you sent said friend a link to something funny and she saw the notice for the show, thus causing the chain reaction that lead to the quest for closure and renewal, and allowed you to see the most awesome show of your life so far: Absolutely fucking priceless!!
Not to mention, I got stoke to out my best friend by meeting Danny Carey and getting him to sign my ticket. I got to watch two mommies have a good night away, just for themselves, see the “LA scene” that I don’t have any desire to be a part of, but was fun for a moment and sit next to Milla Jovavich without even realizing it because she was dressed and made up like a cracked out dollbaby! But with all the video clips, the rocket man, sniffing out the sin, finding of the sin, flamenco guitars, wine, $12 beers, songs sung behind LCD screens, indigo children, getting right with jesus and dueling drummers, the question remains… What is a Puscifer?
