my head will no longer fit through the door

Well to quote my grandma… Shit on a fuckin shingle! (I’m partial to Christ on a fuckin Cracker but that was George Carlin and well.. I don’t know him so there ya have it.) I have been awarded, and ya know it makes a craptastic week feel pretty damn good.

My loverly Becca (with her very own shiny new domain in case you didn’t know…mmm yes, just follow my link and update your shit accordingly) has given me a

“Versatile Blogger” award.

I am not so sure I am all that versatile since usually I write about myself or things I see but, try and take it back and I will cut you. All that being vomited I will start with a THANK YOU!!!! then on to our festivities (I hope you are all appropriately dressed, or at least wearing decent shoes.) While I stumbled upon Becca through one of her comments elsewhere, it wasn’t her snarky awesome biting humor that caught my attention,what inspired me was her ability to be powerful by finding just the right way to start some of her thoughts… and of course her ability to alliterate. Sometimes, a memory can hit you like a shit brick house but you need it at that moment. It only takes one person’s words to make you realize your pent up shit needs to be unleashed, and just maybe it will sound as beautiful.I was floored that she didn’t have a world of followers and was super stoked to be one of the first and even more proud to be a part of the inner circle… dude, she is totally my cuz or sister, maybe I am the milkman’s kid after all! I really think I may have some misplaced korean in my history because its bizarre.

So on to me: What are 5 things you don’t know… sheeeiiit, other than my actual real name there isn’t much.

1. I don’t own an ‘i’ anything. I don’t even use iTunes.
2. My best friend is a dude. I have tried to have chic best friends but they start callin me bestie and that smushie shit, so I stick to dudes. And no he is not my fuck buddy, we do not date, nor will we.
3. The sound of people chewing grosses me out in a way I cannot properly describe.
4. I live where most people vacation but would be perfectly happy in a log cabin by a lake somewhere.
5. For every blog I post there is at least one I didn’t.

Now that we are done with that shit, let the games begin! I get to give head awards!! YAY! I decided I’m gonna try and go outside the comfort zone as I speak of things not for the weak of heart, why the fuck would I read their shit… So in no particular order, here you have it:

Spence at Siren Voices… While I don’t comment often, I do read as often as I can. I’m not even sure he knows of me, but I don’t care… He is an amazing writer. His is not so much a humor (or humour as her would write) blog but by way of versatility, where ya gonna find it if not on an ambulance??? Try. He maintains the dignity of his patients and even though on occasion I cry, I laugh too. He is always worth the read.

Brooke Farmer. She is funny, amazing spirited and has overcome a fuckload more than my wimpy ass could ever think up… So she is rad and you should check her out.

Haylah Mae is fucking awesome. She tells it straight and could give The Wagster a run for his euros. She rules, read her or she’ll spike you with a leather cuff.

The Mad-Man Oh Steve… I think you should read his shit with a bucket of bleach water handy, your eyes will need it. Then, just form your own mad thoughts.. and send him some canned pears from me.

Da Cheese Blarg. I think I am in awe of this woman, and her ability to turn everything into a picture. She is the only person other than ms Portlandia that can give my love of bacon a fun for its money. Oh and she draws Narwahls and Llamas! What’s not to love!!!

There are a couple others who I’d have gladly given this to, but they’ve gotten it already so I am sharing the love with other peeps.  And now its your turn… Be excellent to each other and for fucksake wear nice shoes when presenting!

Here’s the rules…
1. Compose a short bit about the person who awarded you the award.
2. Write a list for your readers detailing things about yourself they don’t know.
3. Pass the love forward to five bloggers that you feel deserve to receive it too.

Again, thanks Bec.