the slope

I don’t think I’m boring, well, maybe I am boring. I never used to think I was boring. Okay I’m not its just one of those days.

Sometimes its like that when you are sitting listening to your friend talk about her life and things… I think I may have fallen off into the abyss of canned pears in heavy syrup boring. I never used to think that. I never used to think I was vanilla but lately when I look in my closet at the 25 long sleeved plain colored layering t-shirts I start to think there is a distinct possibility mensa may skip my house in favor of other applicants (mine were written in sharpie you know, color makes a statement).

So lately I’ve been feelin a little on the short scale of the bell curve. I’m feelin kinda like that kid who’s friends point over there, then swipe his chocolate milk because he looks, over there, every time. And then wonders where the hell he put his chocolate milk.

Today is a blue day. A Vanilla blue day. My real life is full of amazing and creative and brilliant and fearless people. I have been on a mission to slough of those that suck away my own creative energy… and yet still… today.

I feel like I am staring through the window watching the cool kids. I’m wearing my cute clothes that make me have a girl shape and I am here, staring… watching through the window hoping that instead of just wandering out on occasion to say hi or chat or get away from the annoying bitch they came with and laugh with me for a minute, they’ll want me to come in… and hang out, sit at their table. Maybe some of whatever it is they have will spill onto my plate and it will make me feel less small. Maybe I won’t feel so weak and vanilla. Maybe I will remember how it used to be to be pink. Yesterday. And then I can get out of this bed and pick up that magazine from the New York Times Sunday Paper that keeps taunting me, and I can remember…

 

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About Sars

I am the full time rider/conductor of the Bi-Polar Express (2.oh!) Welcome to my ride. Please keep hands and feet inside the pretty pink car at all times, for your safety of course. Rose colored glasses are not only encouraged, but required.

15 Responses to the slope

  1. Socialassassin says:

    Hell, don’t those days hit all of us sometimes?? I’m kind of having one today, but as yet have not developed an urge to hate on vanilla. What’s with that anyway?? Poor vanilla. And the canned pears?? So NOT boring. Slice them, heat them, place on a bacon steak, crumble on some I-feel-blue cheese and grill. Happiness on a plate. Like many things in life that leave a sour taste in the mouth, it’s just a case of finding the right seasoning to make it palatable. I often find wine is the seasoning in question, FYI.nAnd don’t sweat over those MENSA guys either, they’re actually not that smart. Every time I apply to be a member, they lose my acceptance in the post.

    • you gotsars! says:

      sorry its taken me a bit to get back to you, I wasn’t weeping in the corner… my comment system wasn’t notifying me of stuff and ugh! You are right, I could do all sorts of things to spruce it up a bit and have been. Thank you for the kind words sir. I shall be by to visit and tell Mensa to Suckit… Those guys are a bunch of pompus bitches anyhow.

  2. I would love to come inside…nnNot sure that I am one of the “cool people,” but still. nnAlso, bad ass visual there, lady.

  3. Haylah Mae says:

    If you’re boring then I’m celibate. Ha!nnSeriously girl, you are one of the most insightful, creative, un-vanilla-y people I know. If you have any doubt about that at all, just remember that we all feel like we’re missing out on something sometimes. We all feel like we’re boring when we sit on the couch watching Miss Congeniality for the 15th time instead of going out and being ‘active’ (what? Sandra Bullocks has a gun, an attitude, and a fucking kickass dress in that movie!). But what matters isn’t how plain we appear when compared to others, but rather how much we enjoy who we are. nnSo if you don’t like your life, like who you are, or like where you’re at, change them. And if you do, just remember that vanilla is some people’s favorite flavor of ice cream!nnxoxo

  4. I feel like that sometimes…you’re not boring dear! :)

  5. wagthedad says:

    Oh, for Chrissake, you’re not BORING. You are not boring, you are not vanilla, you’ve got these lascivious photos of your feet up there, so why? Why did you choose that? Are you a foot fetishist? Are you INTO foot fetishists? On my site you commented that you’re sleeping with an IT guy. Do you find that does it? Being an IT guy myself, I’ve often wondered if we’ve surpassed the Revenge of the Nerds attraction possibly women might have gotten via Bill Gates in the Nineties. Bill Gates. Is he sexy AT ALL? I’m totally straight, so I can only tell if a guy is HOT. Not usually if he’s got some kind of magnetism that only people who are into guys can get.

    Now stop whining and musing. This week has sucked ass for me, too, BTW, in very much the same way. I took some Vitamin D, and now I got my groove back.

    So please, tell us about all of the above. I, for one, would LOVE to hear the answers to all of those boring, vanilla questions.

    • Sars says:

      Oh Shane, Can I get a recording of this for those days when I feel like shit?? and by the by… the answers to this warrant a post of their own. Please stay tuned.

  6. This is my deepest and biggest fear….that I will look back and realize I have not “lived” at all. I try to take one step away from this everyday, but I’m not successful all the time. Still, I try.

    • you gotsars! says:

      You have a list to work from… I am trying to build that list. I need to start a becca’s “I’m pretty sure that” list and figure out what I’m not sure of then take it on!

  7. Christine says:

    I totally understand where you are…it’s been a pretty blue-vanilla day here too.
    SO sorry I have been kinda flaky lately…but I know that I don’t need to make excuses to you for why things have been suckey. We really need to sit down and have some together girl time :-) Please call me when you would like to chat ok?
    Lots of love, hugs and kisses to you until you feel a little bit more chocolate, strawberry, or whatever flavor you like to be. XOXO Christine

  8. Steve Bailey says:

    If canned pears in syrup is boring……. then……. well…. I dont wanna be exciting….

    Sincerely
    the only other person in the world that eats canned pears in syrup

    • Sars says:

      Aw Steve, I thinks its more that if you compare the canned pears to the fresh ones… there is a certain brightness (is that a word) that is lost. I’ve felt a bit lost. But fear not the laughter will return!

    • you gotsars! says:

      oh Steve… you keep eating those pears in order to keep making me laugh!!!!