tonight, tonight, wo-oh

tonight has been way gnarly… I’m writing this after the funeral of one of our town’s most beloved bartenders. I’m also writing this after 3 (okay in real people terms 6) shots of Bushmills Irish Whiskey. So be warned my grammar may be waaay off of it’s normal mark. Whatever… This blog is actually not about any of that, it’s about me. I’m at my friend’s house. My friend that I have morphed relationships with over the last three years a couple times. I know I can’t date him and he thinks he knows he can’t date me but for different reasons. He made me feel good tonight. Better than the boy who thinks he does make me feel good – that way. But I said no. Truth reeeeeeallly hard, still said no. I’m not ready to give up on the boy. Okay, There it is.. I’ve been faithful to someone I have no commitment to for 6 months… when there is a fucking hot man that just walked out of the shower. I gotta go.