I think I have asked for this before (basic human skills), but it isn’t reality. I’m no closer to getting it now than the first time I asked. Family, friends, school, holidays, work, hustle, bustle………. Some days its like being on a carousel with evil horses from some horror movie. You know the big black ones with the flames coming from their nostrils??? You know what I’m talking about (Think Lord of the Rings). So much keeps happening and keeping it all straight without needing a straight jacket is becoming a chore. Keeping the bitch-slap hand in check for the ones that forgot to read their manuals is more and more difficult all the time.
I know it isn’t possible but I think somehow, we should be given manuals at different intervals in life. In your adolescence it would talk about pimples and pubes and bad hair days and personal hygiene and why boys tease the girls they like and why girls ignore the boys they like. The ones for babies and even little kids exist somewhere (Dr. Spock spread his literary seed well). They teach all about the diapers and colic and how to talk about the birds and bees, how to be and reveal the mystery of Santa, how to deal with overactive and under-active children. But that’s really where the good manuals end. We need a updated or revised set. When you hit teen-dom it would talk about sex and the do’s and don’ts that most parents are too afraid or embarrassed to say. It would have a section on bullies and how even though they tease you and tell you you suck, it isn’t true. The teen version would also start the manners and courtesy and communication lessons in life. That is when you learn real respect, your adolescent and teen years. Now realistically this is a parent’s job, not a book. There shouldn’t be a need for a manual but sadly…. there really is. Too many parents are forgetting to teach the basics. They are producing mean and ugly humans that turn into mean and ugly adults.
When you become an adult, and I don’t mean a “woo-hoo I’m 18 and can eat ice cream for dinner everyday if I want” adult, but a real adult – the first time you have responsibility and have to pay a bill or get a collection notice because you forgot to pay a bill. That time when you transition into a human not just a startling. You are no longer a kid or teen who’s only job is to learn, but you are an adult human being that should have at least an inkling of how to be kind, show respect and courtesy, recognize that we are all different but that is a beautiful thing. By this point you shouldn’t need a book to learn that words hurt and can cut deeper than knives. But that isn’t the case. A whole Britanica style set is needed to teach the basic skills with instructions and answers to the tough questions and reprimands for when you fuck up. Where are those books? Can I pick them up on Amazon? Can I put in a special order for people that never got even the first one? And if people do have them can I unleash the bitch-slap when they forget what they learned? Much like math, things need to be practiced to be retained. I think instead of completely boycotting holidays (which is my inclination) I am gonna dole out the manuals. Reminders that courtesy should be a trait that you don’t think about, but that comes naturally. I think the reason I have such an aversion to the holidays (or one of the reasons anyway) is the lack of basic human skills. There are so many humans that forget all the lessons from the basic manuals. They morph just because there is some celebration of a belated August birthday of a kid that most don’t even care about. The courtesy and kindness and respect go out the window in favor of control and want and gimme, gimme, gimme. People forget love and humanity. They think only of their list for whomever and whether or not they are going to have to get a gift for so-and-so, because damnit if that doesn’t cut into the me-me time and money. I realize that many people are not this, they give all year, they care for friends and family and give because its natural. Maybe I’ll give them a set or two to hand out. But since this is an unrealistic pipe dream, I can only take care of me. So no worrying about fat men in suits or magic babies, I’m gonna give out smiles and respect and kindness. Wait??? Yeah, doing that already. And now my mindpod is shuffling and I need to catch it before one of those stupid carols gets stuck on play.
